Pakistan prepares for the Champions Trophy final!

After beating Bangladesh in a one sided second semi final match of Champions Trophy 2017, India is all set to humiliate the Pakistanis in the final match. While the Indian players were enjoying their day after beating their opponent, Pakistan was busy preparing for the finals. No! don't amuse yourself with the fact that they have been net practising or something else. They were actually busy ordering 'rotis' on Foodpanda and Swiggy's.  This was first noticed when Foodpanda reached out to us about the fact that humongous demand is being recorded from Pakistan for 'rotis' but without any vegetables or dal to accompany it. Foodpanda, explaining to us its ordeal informed us that they do not deliver outside the country but a few RSS memebers convinced them, that the delivery must be made in order for the Men in Blue to humiliate the Green Shits once again. The major concern that still remains is, how will the food scarced Pakistan send all of these 'rotis'

Punjab bans riding Royal Enfield.

Amidst growing support for the pro-nationalistic theme in India, the Punjab C.M Capt. Amarinder has banned riding the Royal Enfield(RE) bikes a.k.a 'Bult' in the state. The decision came after Arnab Goswami exposed (continues to do so as I write this article) several of Congress's and it's allies' leaders on his allegedly jingoistic channel. The last time any indigenous automobile company faced such ban was when SC banned the diesel vehicles above 2000cc. There have been anticipations in the media that the move has been inspired to hide Mr. Shashi Tharoor, who has been on the run since the #SunandaMurderTape went viral. Apparently, by the looks of the medical records of the Congress leader it seems he is wary of loud sound. Exactly the reason he doesn't like Arnab Goswami and loves Dr. Manmohan Singh in the first place. Bult or Bullet as you may like to call it, is characterized by the deafening sound of its silencer (wondering how the word 'silencer'

If Shashi Tharoor reacts on Triple Talaq

After Arnab exposed 19 revealing audio tapes of the forgotten Sunanda Pushkar murder case, Congress leader and the main suspect, Mr. Shashi Tharoor took to Twitter to take a jab at Arnab. The tweet soon went viral due to the overqualified English he used to convey his disappointment to the mass. Half of the Indians ignored because English is too much to carry, the other half were at the Amazon and Flipkart apps to buy the latest edition of Oxford Dictionary. Well, Twitter had its laugh, so now I present a fictional statement of Mr. Shashi Tharoor on Triple Talaq. "The dinkum sporadic growth of Triple Talaq and it's murky ways to attenuate the milquetoast muslim women in India is a clue of woebegone efforts to enfeeble their women. These women have been incessantly hegemonized by the men of their theology. The history has been the corroboration of exoneration of these men from their fidelity. Every time they had to do something sagacious to edify themselves they hide in Shari

South Delhi girl joins the Gaurakshak Dal

New Delhi :  In one of the most unprecedented incidents, Drishta, a girl from one of the most posh places of the national capital, Vasant Vihar, South Delhi has perplexed the whole nation by joining the 'Gaurakshak Dal' . A South Delhi girl barely drinks milk let alone saving cows. While this cow  brigade is receiving flak from the libtards for being disrespectful of their food habits, many are still joining the group (in a belief that one of the cows may turn out to be Kamdhenu). Although, the reason behind her admission into this group is still unknown, people think she has been manipulated into liking cows which is very unlikely of South Delhi girls. Before the news could go viral we managed to hook up a meeting with her. In our interview we found out the real reason for this bizzare decision. Drishta is an Economics Honours student in SRCC, Delhi University. She tells us, she was admitted into D.U after her father payed the down payment for the VC's Jaguar, last year.

यू.पी में विद्यालयो की रंगत बदलने के लिए योगी जी ने लगवाए दीवारों पर अध्यापको के चित्र।

गोरखपुर : हाल ही में उत्तर प्रदेश के नव निर्वाचित मुख्यमंत्री योगी आदित्यनाथ जी ने उत्तर प्रदेश के सरकारी विद्यालयों में अध्यापको की तस्वीर को दीवारो पर चस्पा करने का आदेश दिया। सरकार के बयान के अनुसार इस कदम के पीछे अध्यापको की परोक्ष उपस्तिथि(प्रॉक्सी) को कम करना का है। सरकार के हवाले से यह खभर मिली है कि अब उपस्तिथि पंजिका(अटेंडेंस रजिस्टर) के साथ साथ छात्रों से भी अध्यापको के चित्र दिखाकर पता करा जाएगा कि कोई अध्यापक विद्यालय आकर उन्हें पढ़ा रहें है या नहीं। इस कदम के तहत विद्यालयों में पढ़ाई और ज्ञान के गिरते स्तर को निशाना बनाया जाने की उम्मीद है। मुख्यमंत्री जी ने पदभार संभालने के कुछ दिन बाद ही पढ़ाई की गुणवत्ता को सुधारने की बात करी थी। देर शाम जब हमारे संवाददाता को यह खभर पता चली तो हमने इस खभर कि पुष्टि अथवा असली कारण पता करने की ठानी और गोरखनाथ मठ के लिए रवाना हो गए। अगले दिन वहाँ पहुंचने पर हमारी मंडली सुश्री वैजंती जी से मिलने गयी। वैजंती जी उस मठ की सबसे पुरानी गाय है। मंत्री जी अक्सर इनसे बात करते है और अपने निर्णय लेते है। हम सबने उन्हें चरणस्पर्श किया और अपने सवाल जवाब

La Tomatina in Indian Politics

Despite being an off season, U.P will be the transporter of Tomatoes across Indian territory this year. In the wake of supportive weather conditions, the state of Uttar Pradesh has managed to grow a bumper quantity of Tomatoes while the other states' Tomato cultivating farmers are bearing losses.  Also called the 'Green Gold' in the agricultural terminology, this red fruit is the key ingredient in Indian Politics. You may want to ask how! Well, Tomato derives it's importance into the Indian Politics due to its soft nature(Irony, how a soft thing is used in hardcore uses). It is a well known fact that this fruit has a thin outer layer and a sluggish interior. It's a matter of wrong guidance while holding it and a little pressure, before it blasts itself into smithereens like the suicide bombers of ISIS. There have been incidents when people have hurled Tomatoes at politicians as a mark of protest against their schemes, government system etc. In time, due to the sh

दिल्ली में मोमो की चटनी का राजनीतिकरण!

राजधानी दिल्ली में लोग छोटी छोटी बातों पर आपा खो रहे हैं। ताजा मामला उत्तर प्रदेश के नोएडा के सीमावर्ती इलाके दल्लूपुरा का है जहाँ एक दुकानदार ने अपने ग्राहक को मोमो की चटनी माँगने पर सूत दिया। जिस राज्य का मुख्यमंत्री खुद एक कुंठाग्रस्त अभियंता(फ्रस्ट्रेटेड इंजीनियर) हो वहाँ की जनता से और कुछ अपेक्षा भी नहीं करी जा सकती। इसमें गलती जनता की नहीं स्वयं मंत्री जी की है जो वो उन्हें एक सुखदायक जिंदगी नहीं दे पा रहे है। बीती शाम राजधानी दिल्ली में इस खभर ने इस तरह आग पकड़ी की स्वयं अरविंद केजरीवाल भी भौचक्के रह गए। उन्हें कुमार विश्वास नहीं हो रहा था कि कैसे बिना उनकी हरकत के कोई आग इतनी भयंकर फैल सकती है। दरअसल, मामला कुछ ऐसा था कि दल्लूपुरा में किराए के मकान में रहने वाले डोगु सिन्हा ने नौकरी से देर में छुट्टी मिलने के कारण रात का खाना बाहर किसी दुकान पर करने का विचार बनाया। इसके तहत उसने "पंडित बुड्ढे की दुकान" पर जाने का विचार बनाया जो कि  रात्रि १२ बजे तक खुली रहती है। वहाँ पहुँचने पर डोगु ने चार प्लेट मोमो मंगाए। मोमो आते ही डोगु ने उस पर ऐसे झपट्टा मारा जैसे कांग्रेस वाले